Wii Love You Long Time

I started drawing things on my Wii Udraw pad. I'm not a very good artist, but I have always been able to think up strange creatures to draw. This is what I have come up with so far:

Bowel Movement Journal

April 1: Today, I shit twice. I shit in the morning, after my banana protein shake. It was a very satisfying girth and length, ranging somewhere between a bratwurst and a Pringles can. I'd have to say it was about a two-pounder. It was also a clean cut. No wiping necessary. I shit another turd of similar size and shape around 6 pm. This one really stretched my asshole out, and was definitely no smaller than a Pringles can (see Facebook for photo). April 2: I had two fairly large turds today. They were tapered and segmented. Not quite as impressive as the pair from yesterday. So, needless to say, the plumber needed not to make a visit to the old homestead. Although the length and girth were not as impressive, the turds definitely stunk more, and required at least two wads of toilet paper to clean up the butthole. April 3: The turds today are about 20% stinkier and are super tar-like, requiring massive amounts of shit-tickets to clean up the crime scene. After my chili cheese burrito with hot sauce, I had a dump that was at least a 7-wiper. Not good! April 4: Not feeling well today. My shits are super small and skinny, and are followed by a large spray of very nauseating diarreah. Not a stitch of white is to be seen on the toilet. I puked once after I gazed into the toilet and took a whiff. April 5: The shitting and puking is getting out of hand. Everything has turned to diarreah. There is a whirlwind of green shit reigning down from my innards! Things are going through me so fast! I actually shit out a whole red pepper 4 minutes after I ate it. April 6: Today, I was at Office Depot and shit my pants in the recorable CD aisle.