Stuff That Sucks and Blows

I don't like stuff that sucks! I don't like stuff that blows! But aren't sucking and blowing pretty much the same thing? I really don't understand the whole thing. I mean, clearly, there are differences between the two. But, anyway, I've just been thinking about shit that I spend my quiet afternoons hating in this world and thought I should document it for future earth-people:

-People who can't even take care of themselves, but have kids. Wear a rubber, ya fuckface!

-Guys who wear white shorts with a white shirt. The absence of color pisses me off!

-Guys who wear sunglasses at night or indoors. You guys suck! And don't even think about putting them on top of your head like a hat, cuz that pisses me off too!

-Lance Armstrong bracelets. Just wear a rubber-band and snap it on your wrist when you feel like you need to be reminded to stay strong you pussy.

-People who don't like "It" when they've never even tried "It". But, on the other hand, I definitely would never eat a bowl of fish assholes.

-People who say FYI. Of course it's for your information, otherwise I'd be telling someone else ya stupid prick!

-Also, don't say "What can I do you for?", when you really mean "What can I do for you?", because this creates all sorts of over-analyzation. Money? or Help?

-Pretty much all French words should be left alone by Americans: 2-shay, moteef, tray-awesome. Yeah, I spelled them wrong on purpose cuz I hate French. I even hate the word "resume' ". Do I make one because I want to "resume" working or what? Fuck French stuff.

-Commercials that suck ballsac! Come on commercial people! Stop making those fucking stupid "Can you here me now" and "I'm Jared, and I lost a thousand pounds" commercials. They suck ass and we should be brainwashed of them forever! So, stick with the cool shit and we'll all appreciate it. You can't go wrong with talking dogs, singing babies, or cats with attitudes.

-People with severe, self-inflicted appearance disorders. Put on some make-up or something! I'm actually mad at you for coming out into public today!

-Dirty puppies are gross. Rub some Head and Shoulders on that filthy, oily, smelly puppy of yours ya trashy bitch! And if it's a pit-bull or if it's really ugly, it's twice as filthy as a normal puppy

-I don't like people who don't like to watch videos of people getting hurt while doing extreme sports, leisure activities, or just playing ball with their son.

-I don't like Dr. Phil. He's a nut-job and a dildo.

-It makes me angry when people bother me when I'm trying to poop.

If you agree with me on any of these gripes, then good for you! If you disagree, there is always room to better yourself by becoming annoyed with things worthy of being annoyed by and documenting them accordingly.