A lot of people think that they are the nicest person they know. I got news for ya shitballs! You're not nice! You're a prick! Don't worry! There is room for improvement! Everyone always takes care of good old number one: Themselves! This equation just seems to work out great. If everyone just took care of themselves, everyone would be taken care of! Here's some tips for all you self-indulged butt-pirates: 1. GET A DOG. If you're taking care of a dog, you're taking care of some"thing" else. That's pretty close to taking care of some"one" else. 2. BUY ME A BEER. Take care of me! I'm getting sober and slipping into reality really quickly, and it sucks. 3. CREATE A PYRAMID SCHEME. Pyramid schemes take care of tons of people! Unless you are on the bottom, then you're royally fucked! 4. GO FISHING. Make other people's lives better by getting out on the lake and getting out of their fuckin' hair! 5. TAKE A BATH. I don't wanna smell your nasty ass, just festering away next to me. Be a little considerate, ya rotten fuck!
With my help, you could become a respectable American that considers the feelings of others. Until then, just keep being an asshole!
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