Garbage Sales

I hate garage sales. All you have to add is a "b" and it turns into "garbage sales". That's exactly what they sell there. It's all shit! Unless you are willing to grace the garage-salers with your presence at 7AM on a Saturday morning when there is still some slightly less repulsive shit on the shelves because the hordes of trashy pricks haven't shown up yet to reap the garage of its oh-so-valuable trinkets. An Ab-Lounge with an icecream stain on it and a Mike Tyson's Punchout Nintendo game with a piece of pepperoni stuck to it is hardly appealing to a guy like me. Although everything costs a nickel or less, I have no desire to purchase a used basketball-hoop net from some asshole. I'll just go to Walmart and buy a clean one for 84 cents. I don't have the time on a weekend to be thumbing through thousands of baby outfits and thousands of shitty, old vinyl records from the early 1900's. I gotta fish and get my drink on. And did you ever notice that the garage guy gets mad and gives you a shit-eating grin when you don't buy anything. He's like, "I can't believe that stinky bastard wasn't interested in my Batman slippers. I thought those would be the first to go!" Wow garage-guy, you really suck ass!