Trendy Urns

Don't pour your grandpa's ashes in some river or lake. Don't flail grandma's ashes into the air from atop Mount Everest. And for God's sake, don't shove your loved one in a tacky eighteen century vase! Bottle up your loved ones in style with "Trendy Urns". We'll make those ashes come alive with vibrant colored, hip, new-age containers!

I thought I had a really good idea for a business while I was walking through the Mega-Mall. I guess I was beat to the punch, though. I typed in "trendy urns" on google and found sites that make urns that are even trendier than I had in mind, which is pretty fuckin' trendy! They have jewelry for sale in which to store your loved one's remains. They even make diamonds out of your loved one's ashes! I can just imagine the fun conversations that take place:

-"Hey Cindy, those are some bomb-ass earrings! Where did you get them!?"
-"Well, actually, this earring in my left ear is made out of Grandpa Jim, and this locket contains the remains of Grandma Beatrice, and my shoes are actually made out of my cat Snickers."
-"Holy Shit! You're trendy!"


"Urn jewelry comes in many styles sure to display your dear ones in a trendy, tasteful way."
-An actual excerpt from a website I found