Jager Master

I think I'm a Jager Master in the sense that I understand Jagermeister more than the average Joe. Either that, or I am just the only dumbass that decided to write about it, so that it officializes my deep understanding. Jagermeister is fun AND depressing because a person never just casually drinks a glass of Jagermeister. It's always like, "Let's get completely fucked up and do shit we might regret!" My buddy John and I used to drink a whole bottle of Jag between the two of us, and THEN go to the bar. That's like eating an entire pizza, and then saying, "Ullllh, you guys wanna go to Pizza Ranch?" The worst part of this is that it was usually on a Wednesday or something. Advice: just drink the nasty shit. Don't forget the Red Bull, though! What would a black, liquid depressant be without a piss-colored, pseudo-vitamin-infested liquid stimulant!? It's nice to be loaded on Hump Day.