Crustaceans in Bus Stations

It was a terrible day for the crustaceans of the Gulf of Mexico. Their homes were flooded with large amounts of black goop. None of them ever thought that it would come to this. One day, they are flapping their evolved flagella erratically. Then, the next day, they are ass-deep in petro. Many of the unfortunate sea creatures took ill. Others got the fuck outta there. Now, the brave crustacean survivors of the gulf, A.K.A. The Petro-Radicals, are walking the streets of Mississippi, Alabama, and Louisana. All they want is a chance. They want another chance to be great. Even a job at BP would suffice. Most are willing to hold pretty low positions. Some even claim to know friends with PhD's that are holding the ever-embarrassing position known as "cashier". None of God's creatures should have to deal with such a dilemma. Some reports claim that many of the crustaceans have been hanging out in bus stations, in hopes of snagging a free ticket out of that hell-hole. Some have actually been selling their bodies to seafood restaurants for money for their family. Any way you tell it, the situation is bad. It needs to be resolved before these crustaceans start stealing all of our jobs and all of our women. Beware crabs, beware lobsters, beware crayfish, and especially, beware shrimp! We are on to you. We know that no woman in her right mind can resist a sweet lobster, and we are ready for anything you have to offer. Just don't offer a side of butter, then we're fucked.